Kristen was late to meet me for beer and Corvas was late to meet my programmer friend for beer so me and my programmer friend and his chemist friend sat and talked about projects. Programmer friend doesn’t have a phone or know who Corvas is, so I texted Corvas. I was downgraded to Proxy level 7 when I didn’t respond to Corvas’ follow-up text quickly. Then we all drank beer and talked about projects.
Kristen and I looked through her Tinder. It was so boring. We decided to me a tinder but it wouldn’t work on my phone (because you need a facebook and a gender to make one?) I tried to download it via ipad but instead chose “Air Flappy Fish-Brave Swim” You tap the screen to make the fish swim. I reviewed the app after playing it for a while calling it a”Great dating app.”
Here is the tinder blurb Kristen and I collaborated on:
This guy is the limit :)
Where to start? I’m a nice guy on an endless search for a good microBrew. I have an epic bacon sweater that I wear for my guitar concerts. I love spending time at the gym and being 6’2″ with my dog whiskey. Really, I’m just looking for a pretty gal to gently antagonize. I feel like women owe me something.
1: I was calmly explaining the benefits of veganism as the cruise ship burned around me.
2: A kind of mangy mountain lion that was about 6 feet tall on 4 legs wanted to come into the house. It was cute and dangerous and needed a bath.
3: I was hugging Hoku goodbye. I joked that he shouldn’t die and we both laughed.
4: Two butterflies, one solid purple and the other solid green but both glowing and slightly transparent – as though from a spirit realm – were hovering in front of me. I knew they represented permanent love through impermanent form because it was my dream.
5: There were transparent cubes with different images going in many directions, and you could see deep into the layers. I specifically remember some dolphins and space on one. They were little universes.
6: I asked everyone if they remembered a dream I had had when I was sixteen, about the guru in a cave who told me about fire dog yoga. In that dream we each got to ask the guru a question and I asked him how he felt. He said he had to poop. In my dream from this afternoon I was a pop star and was flipping around much like the guru in a cave had.
7: Buildings were exploding all around me as part of a new advertising scheme.
8: Dad was asking me and Noah to kill a donkey in a video game for dinner. Mom was asking me what I wanted to do and I started yelling that I didn’t like any of the options.
9: I evaded security guards near a towering wall but they caught up with me, firing a gun and shattering my glasses. They threw a knife through my right foot as I jumped off a cliff and onto an expansive lawn. When I arrived at the picnic I noticed my foot was gushing blood and I knew if we played spin the bottle no one would want to kiss me.
10: I was told I had to kill the thing I loved most so I was taking my brother somewhere to get rid of him. I thought angrily that this didn’t have to happen, and pulled into a parking lot to devise another plan. Some acquaintances were in the lot and one of them shot me in the throat. I fell backward with the momentum, realizing that I would die shortly. Then I decided that was a bad idea and turned my body into a wave of rubber, rising from the ground and saying: “I am Em Wingren and I’m great.”
I was Johnny Cash and I had two sons that looked just like me and their mom combined. Later, I was having spghetti dinner at the restaurant and saw their mother through a window. I said we had to leave and my children mentioned their mother discouraged wasting food – said it was bad for the planet. I agreed and did not say anything about veganism.
The Spanish restaurant had this special green sauce that tasted deep, herby, and salty. I saw the guy from the party. Buff arms, tribal tattoos, and the same demeanor as the un-sober guy from Whole Foods. We hugged tightly on an office chair. It was a sweet embrace and I wanted him to leave.
In this open room I discovered my white button down had an internal pocket. This would be good for carrying my passport in summer, without a jacket. I filled the pocket with too many things.
Updates about mundane things in my dreams. This morning I got an email saying to bid soon on a dehydrator. The price had gone from $80 to around $150. Now afternoon, I am at a coffee shop between at-risk youth and incarcerated-youth art-classes. The averagly-cute barrista didn’t charge me the obligatory almond milk fee AND gave me a discount. I figured this into the tip.
I checked email on my cracked phone. The dehydrator I’m watching is ending soon and the current price is $153.
I had several dreams Trippens arrived at work. Last time I asked if this was real or not and was told we won’t get another shipment until spring, but a reorder of Trippen had just arrived. All this practicing to be psychic has paid off. My subconscious can predict that probable things will happen and then they do.
Lately I have been thinking: “What the fuck am I doing, I am such a shit-head.” And “No one else in the world knows what they are doing either.”
Maybe some people do. What really matters is that we’re all killing this planet and each other together. :)
I’ve been stomach in-love. Sleep-deprived. Instead of depressed as biology would dictate, I’m deep contentment and surges of joy. I am a big grassy man. Maybe it’s the placebos I bought from the witch doctor.
I embroidered the ancestral Coyote 101.5 motif, given to me in t shirt form from late-great-uncle Paul, onto my premium-preemie-primo’s newborn quilt square while working the “Your General Store” piece at SITE, and looking smart and hot in my sunglasses. I thought: “It is okay to die.”
Walking as a part of the overexposed afternoon I thought about sex. A woman with blue eye shadow told me about the sales at the consignment store. I didn’t find any slim and high waisted tapered slacks.
Floating in the next store-zone, a supremely cute individual smiled at me and I did a double take – wording I only use because I was at Double Take. I walked around the block and texted Bea about potential pick up lines. She offered: “I was thinking of leaving a missed connection for you but figured it might be more productive to talk to you first.”
The attractive tall and skinny person had long dark hair. I thought about how Hoku was tall and skinny and had long dark hair once. Probably I will fall deeply in love with this stranger or else not see them again.
I ran into a woman at the next consignment store without slim high waisted tapered slacks. She looked at me lovingly and with sad eyes. I said: “Where do I know you from?” She said she was Hoku’s friend. I said I was just thinking about Hoku. We talked about Hoku’s style.
A few days ago I was thinking about how Hoku would like some thing and then I thought: “how would I know?” I don’t want to project things onto dead people, but there’s no other option.
Guess I’ll just continue to project everything onto everything because perception is reality and also holographic.
The man who gave all my friends drugs and then made them pancakes at the last cabin rave shot himself at the cross of the martyrs recently. Whenever I drive down Paseo from work I think about that, and about how downtown in general is loaded with sorrow and nostalgia.
Downtown Santa Fe is also full of Pueblo Revival Architecture: racist originally and racist in replication. I have no place to talk about this racism, considering the ways in which I belong to this landscape, built or otherwise.
I walk around my hometown, where I have sweet jobs, friends and memories, thinking about how I don’t belong here and don’t want to live here.
I am a greasy man
with sunflower armpits
big sun goes down on everyone
We are all at this post-dark party
every text a rejection
standing in line for a toilet
blue fairy lights
I am the worst and I mean it.
I want all the boys to be drodgy and shy
I’m dodgy and sly
Always be the worst
Laziest sinner on the beach
I am too lazy to sin or think critically about sin as a socio-religious construction
I just want the free doughnuts
I am only serious about not letting you down,
I am only serious about not letting you down.
I will never let you go.
I will live at your expense
I will not live up to my potential as my job.
Dopa Land is inhabited by people in puffy jackets who bob back and forth.
Vegan pizza butt
Brush my hair with a toothbrush
I’m not tired
Drunk my waking hours
I was a centipede for halloween, after seeing the centipede on the floor at Home Depot.
I DJed at Niomi’s group show and drank an excellent almond milk chai. I had priced me drawings at: “A sip of sweet wine and a kiss from a dreamy individual” which she misunderstood to mean: “not for sale.”
My first thought upon seeing Kristen on Halloween was “Katamari!” We snuck a flask of whiskey into one of the objects comprising her costume.
We picked up Tina and navigated seas of top 40/the suspension performance, drinking whiskey sours.
Halloween is the most important holiday for my friends and it showed, and we heard it, and we danced to it.
Tina had to work the next day so I walked her home.
We drank wine out of tiny jars in her apartment, talking about all the things.
Alain came home and I went back to Skylight at 1:30, where I was told I couldn’t come back in. I reminded them that I had built the fog chiller that stood as decoration and had paid their cover.
I waited outside for a time, talking about how Skylight is a ruiner, and snuck past the guard swiftly when he was distracted.
Kristen and I went home and had a good old fashioned sleepover. We had excellent almond milk lattes in the morning and went to the book store.
Sleeping at home depot
It’s the world
Take care of me or don’t
Bucket full of tiger pee
Everything that’s mine is everyone else’s in the world
Double dream same thing
live on earth with me